Before your feet hit the floor in the morning, a lot can go on in your mind and body. Perhaps its used to something like this:
Wake up.
“Noooo”
Sigh
Snooze
Rollover
“Crap, that’s right I gotta do that today”
Dread
Snooze
More Dread
“S*&%, better get up now”
You finally roll out of bed, do the normal mindless routine, and carry around the disposition you woke up with to start your day (and it's probably not the most optimal).
I am a firm believer that taking advantage of at least the first 5 minutes after waking up (if not up to the first hour) is a chance to set the tone of the day. There are 1,000 minutes in a day, so what’s 5 minutes to get a leg up?
If you’ve been planning on putting more energy into mental health, finding a few minutes in the morning to dedicate towards self-improvement, mindset, and general well-being can gradually transform your life for the better.
Why the morning?
“It’s been said that the first hour is the rudder of the day” -Steve Pavlina
Imagine your self as a ship that’s been docked overnight. Wouldn’t you want to refuel the engine, restock supplies, tidy up the ship, and properly set the rudder towards your destination for that day’s voyage? Rolling out of bed without these proper steps before you set sail increases the likelihood that your boat will endure more stress, breakdown, or get lost at sea. Integrating positive habits in the beginning of the day better ensures a successful day at sea.
For most people, once the day starts, it gains momentum in your routine, responsibilities, and general flow. By the end of the day, sometimes the last thing you want to do is integrate self-improvement activities that you may or may not be totally sold on in the first place. The longer you wait, excuses build up, “I’m tired, don’t have time, and can start tomorrow.”
Completing some of the strategies that will be mentioned in this article sends a message to your unconscious at the very beginning of your day that you matter, that “I value myself enough to apply these techniques”. It helps provide an internalized message that “I am worth it”. After giving to yourself in this way, the chance of burnout decreases and can enable you to give more willingly throughout the day to your job, responsibilities, children, coworkers, partner, etc.
It's also an exercise in being a proactive participant in life, rather than reactive. Most people live in a reactive state, having things come to them and reacting to just get through the day. Adding more intention to what you want for the day allows for a proactive approach. It gives the sense of agency and responsibility to your life direction.
After working with clients on this issue, I have compiled some of the more effective strategies to consider implementing in the early moments of the day. I have broken them down into the 3 M’s (Motivation, Mood, and Mind). Each is listed below, with a menu of items to add to your morning. Pick and choose your favorites from each to start optimizing the start to your day.
Morning Motivation
The morning is primetime to consciously program your unconscious for the rest of the day. Our minds love to go on autopilot as the day goes on, so mindfully programming your software to guide you in the right direction throughout the day is key. Motivation, in this sense, goes beyond just the obligation to complete “the stuff I have to do today”. It can be about inspiration, excitement, passion, values, and goals that can enliven your day.
Motivation Menu
1. Mental Modeling.
Many CEOs develop this habit, probably out of necessity. It involves spending a few moments to set up a minute-to-minute mental map of the day’s events. This includes visualizing accomplishing your responsibilities and how you would like to be while completing them.
Example: Imagining your meeting at 11am, approaching the situation with confidence and openness.
However, your day rarely turns out exactly how you intend, so it must also be accompanied with an attitude of flexibility to allow diversions. Setting up this mental model for the day reduces the chance you will waste time, procrastinate, or simply not do something because you don’t feel like it.
2. Set Your Intentions.
They can seem cheesy but try them out. Setting an intention acts as another way to tell your unconscious what you believe about the day ahead. “I intend to have a productive day at work”... “I intend to be confident in my actions”... “I intend to be kinder to everyone I meet today”. These could also be called “Morning Manifestations.”
3. Review Values and Purpose.
Motivation doesn’t exist without attaching values. Reminding yourself of your values can provide better direction and meaning throughout the day. Having a value of being a supportive father could influence your decision to ask your daughter about her basketball practice. Having a value of professionalism could affect your behavior and attitude going into your workday.
Also, Creating a purpose statement, framing it, and putting it on your nightstand can remind you of your why at that current period of your life.
4. Embody Your Motivated Self (or Role Model).
Let your mind drift to a moment you felt most motivated. Your mind may give you an image or a movie reel of this. Go into that moment again, embodying yourself at your peak motivation. Notice what it felt like and allow that feeling to flood your body…then double that feeling. Perhaps you remember how laser-focused you were, or how your body felt light and energized.
Also, “acting as if” you were someone you know, or a character in a movie or book that emulates how you’d like to be that day can be helpful.
5. Review Goals.
Having short-term and long-term goals allows you to revisit what you’ve been working on daily. This will hopefully increase attention and action towards your goals. Goals are rarely achieved in one day, so behaving in ways that are aligned with your goals everyday is a key to long term success. Making S.M.A.R.T. goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Results-Focused, Time-Oriented) can give you an advantage.
*It’s easiest to have your values, purpose statement, goals, and intentions written so that you don’t have to remember them every morning. You will also be more likely to take action towards goals if they are written out. Remember all of these should be revisited regularly and modified as time goes on.
Morning Mood
Imagine you just woke up from a bad dream, it's raining outside, you think of a report that’s due, and your team lost the game last night. These things you can’t control, but can greatly affect your mood as you wake up. Starting the day with a mood more in your control can positively influence your disposition, thoughts, and behavior.
Mood Menu
6. Gratitude.
Research continues to confirm that listing a few things you are grateful for can significantly provide a more positive mood. It can be as simple as having running water or clothes in your closet. Working on boosting your self-worth? Make sure there’s one about a personal attribute like, “I’m grateful that I’m caring/creative/resourceful”.
7. Exercise and Body Movement.
Your brain constantly takes cues from your body about how you’re doing in the world. If you start your day with making your arms wide (power pose), running in place, jumping jacks, push-ups, or even a simple stretch can be incredibly mood-boosting increasing serotonin levels. You don’t have to do a full workout; just 30 seconds of any of these can make a difference (Although integrating exercise of any length of time or intensity is beneficial).
8. Air and Water.
Water and oxygen are our body’s most essential resources. Drinking a tall glass of water can assist your body in waking up for the day. Taking a few deep breaths from your abdomen gives a heavy dose of oxygen. Focus solely on your breath as you inhale for a count of 4, hold for a count of 7, and exhale to a count of 8 is an approach that can calm the body, especially for those that carry extra anxiety in the morning. Do these and feel your body thank you.
9. Manage Default Emotions and Thoughts.
It’s common to have your mind drift to more distressing places as you wake up, perhaps something that provokes anxiety, stress, or even grief from a recent loss. If you continue to entertain these thoughts/emotions they will linger throughout the morning, which will then generate a mood. I’m not advocating to not reflect or honor the thoughts that caused the mood, but rather to decide a reasonable amount of time to consider them so they can naturally subside and not impact your mood for the day.
10. Music.
Create a morning playlist that stimulates the emotional systems you wish to target. Find moments to intently focus on the sound and lyrics to get the most out of your favorite mood-boosting songs. Can’t play music? Just imagining a song playing in your head can have similar effects; personally, I like to use the Superman Theme song by John Williams (Stimulates confidence and motivation for me).
Morning Mind
If you haven’t noticed our mind can be very active in the morning. Random thoughts of stresses, to-do’s, anxieties, and even disturbing images can flood the mind. The majority of these thoughts are not under our control. Finding a way to calm the mind and inject your own prescribed thoughts for the day can allow you to start seeing your mind as a tool rather than a nuisance.
Mind Menu
11. Meditation/Mindfulness.
Mindfulness is simply noticing anything in the present moment with an attitude of non-judgmental awareness. This could be items in your room, physical sensations, things outside your window, sounds, smells, etc. Starting your day with this activity improves focus, attention, non-reactivity, improved emotional regulation, immune functioning, and stress relief to name a few. Meditation is just another method to integrate this skill into your morning routine. Research shows just 10 minutes a day can improve many mental and emotional issues. Even just a couple minutes of sitting in silence while focusing on the breath, or using a guided meditation can be helpful. I find mindfulness to be one of the most essential tools for maximizing the power of the mind.
12. Thought Defusing.
This is similar to what you might do in meditation but can be a separate activity. This involves observing your thoughts as they bubble up from your unconscious. Imagine sitting on the banks of a river (your stream of thought) and seeing the floating leaves pass by (thoughts). Having an attitude of curiosity, openness, and non-judgment is key. This allows more confidence in your ability to distance yourself from the sometimes-incessant chatter in the back of your mind. As I mentioned we have different types of thoughts. Discerning the helpful from unhelpful types can help in reducing negative emotion, increasing awareness, and reduce time wasted on the more unhelpful types of thought.
13. Quotes.
The mind is pliable and always capable of integrating new perspectives and attitudes. Finding quotes, sayings, or passages from books can aid in expanding your mind. Introducing new ideas in this way changes our minds. Try revisiting the ones that resonate with you the most as you begin your day. Perhaps even using quotes of admiration, appreciation, or encouragement from yourself, friends, and family members.
14. Write Stuff Down.
Our minds love to remind us of our to-do’s, anxieties, let downs, etc. They can float around up there, occasionally tugging on us until it gets sufficient attention. Writing what you need to do that day, or doing a simple 5-minute journal (just writing whatever comes to mind) can allow your mind to organize prominent thoughts. This helps free up space for attention, focus, and creative thought. Writing is a sophisticated form of thinking. Writing things down early in the morning can help you better think through your approach to the day/week/month events. This can allow for more conscious action towards your most valued facets of life.
15. Reading.
It takes focused attention to read. Reading generates a different state of mind compared to checking email, scrolling social media, or thinking of how much you have to do that day. As a bonus, you can choose to read material such as self-help books that may provide positive mind changing ideas and perspectives.
Morning Questions
As a bonus, start your day by asking yourself some thoughts provoking questions.
Question Menu
What am I looking forward to today?
Longer term, what am I looking forward to in the future?
Am I in my body enjoying the gift of being alive?
What do I intend for the day?
What am I grateful for today?
What do I want to do today/long term?
How can I act with passion today?
What is my purpose?
Am I displaying my true self or false self?
Am I doing things that lead directly to my goals?
What do I value most today?
Which e-motions are moving me through the day? (excitement, fear, joy)
Am I being my best friend and supporter?
What are my most dominate thoughts as I wake up?
How am I feeling?
How do I want to be today?
“But I’m Not a Morning Person!”
Yes, this was me too. However, I’ve found that the power of this statement is more in the belief itself than in some biological predisposition. Many of us crave that extra 5-20 minutes of sleep, but at what cost? Does it really matter THAT much? When there’s a will there’s a way, and I would challenge you to confront this belief. Try going to bed to a little earlier, or reducing time on other habits to ease your anxiety.
The Morning Begins at Night
Priming your next morning during the last minutes before bed is an essential step. This helps in making the mental and emotional commitment to change the behaviors/habits/routines of the morning ahead.
1. Reflect on how you’d like to start your day, perhaps using the 3 M’s menu items.
2. Think more clearly on how this new system will be integrated into the other necessary responsibilities (walking the dog, showering, brushing your teeth).
3. Visualize yourself completing this new system, possibly feeling the sensation of pride/motivation/eagerness while going through the set actions.
4. Be mindful of the thoughts you have about the morning to come. There’s a big difference between thinking “dang, I have to wake up in 6 hours to start my crappy day”, and “I can't wait to start my day with more focus, motivation, and gratitude.”
Give Yourself Flexibility, Compassion, Patience, and Room for Discovery
Flexibility- The morning routine you settle on should have variations that it can be done in just a few minutes or as long as you wish. Having an attitude of flexibility will lower your resistance to completing it, and possible loss of momentum because you didn’t have your usual allotted time.
Self-Compassion - Let's face it; you’ll probably skip a day or lose motivation at some point. This is not a time to sit in self-deprecation. Be kind to yourself and become loving yet firm with yourself knowing that you are still committed and plan on picking up where you left off tomorrow morning.
Be Patient - Habits don’t form overnight. Give yourself enough days in a row to allow more automaticity to your new morning routine. There will be days you will not feel like doing it, just like you may not feel like going to the gym. Fall back on your values and purpose for starting the new routine in the first place. As I always say, “Principle over Discomfort.” Building this kind of morning routine is an investment in yourself, overtime you will begin to see the Return On Investment, further your motivation to keep it up.
It’s a Process of Discovery - Like most endeavors in life, this is a process of discovery of what your optimal morning could look like. None of these strategies is set in stone; this should only be used as a starting point. Let yourself experiment with new and creative ways to energize and systematize your morning. No one has the same set of values, goals, personality, and expectations. After integrating these new strategies into your routine, make room to reflect on how they have impacted you during the previous weeks and months. Finding even the smallest benefits acts as a necessary positive reinforcement.
This week choose a few menu options and morning questions to get started. Wake up eager to prepare your ship for the day, then set sail with a brand new sense of motivation, mood, and mindset.
Adam Lencioni is a licensed mental health counselor empowering individuals and couples to overcome their personal obstacles while creating flourishing, fulfilling lives. Contact him at adam@parkbenchtherapy.com to inquire about services, or visit his website parkbenchtherapy.com for more information.
Comments